Going Somewhere?

the past few days i attended a youth leaders' advance held at 30 Jalan Lekar, Sungei Tengah @ Singapore Vision Farm... it is a lovely place with beautiful scenery, nice hostels and a nice weather. It is easy to find God and to thank Him for the lovely things that He has bestowed us with like nice trees, beautiful chirpy birds. irritating mosquitos, pestering flies, so on n so forth. yup, God is tangible through His creation. he is evident in people like u n me :)

honestly, i was not too keen about going for this advance coz i was the only person that i knew there. true, though there are people whom i know but they are merely acquaintances. It was a terrible experience for me to sit there alone watching everyone know everyone. but i had to be brave. as a leader, i had to be strong rite? hahhaa wrong. the fact that i was alone made me realize that i am actually not alone. i still had God. it is just that i had to take time to know people.

However, being alone at the camp made me wonder and ponder about myself. am i really as independent as many say or even i say i am? honestly, i dun noe. i finally understand how Chris felt when he went to USA alone for the first time though my case was not as extreme as his but yeah somewhat similar for the first 1.5 days lar. :)

It was not easy but i managed to get to know a couple or rather a handful of ppl. hahah starting small is good. :) yeah but it was sad to be the only leader from the youth worship side and everyone else was from the cell group segment. :) was initially at a loss but slowly but surely getting the picture of everything.

yup and it is a 4 days 3 night camp starting on mon which was 10 dec. so here i am blogging and u might wonder what am i doing at home now blogging? good question. i was home sick and i had to pack for my trip to china. hahha. stayed over on tues, took one sniff of the toilet and i nearly puked. took one sniff of my bed and i already begun to realize i was home sick. i missed home and parents. missed my u shape pillow, miss my pink bird soft toy.

so back to the question of whether or not i am independent, i guess i still have lots to learn. a different level of maturity in independence. :) through this camp, it has taught me to step out of my comfort zone. i was happy being where i was and being with the ppl i am comfortable with. but yet, as leaders sometimes, we have to step out of our comfort zones in order to reach and win souls for God. if we can't break the ice among ourselves, wat more others out there in the cold hard world? got to start somewhere so here i am, took one step of faith n be brave without the bf at the camp. haha literally no one near to my comfort level. *sobs*

but i thank God for giving me the opportunity for going to this camp, i learnt lots from it and was greatly blessed. and i love being alone still... hahaha. i talk less which is ironic of me. :) love God n i love myself