snow or rain?

past 3 days has been raining continuously. i am beginning to wonder is it realli rain or melted snow? u noe due to our geographical location in the world, we have to be near the equator so much so that we can't enjoy beautiful white snow... gosh... the next best thing that we can enjoy during Christmas is rain. yup... and today it is so sunny but unfortunately, i have to be in church otherwise it would have a nice day to spend time with mummy by going shopping.. heh heh...
Can u believe it, Christmas is just 5 days away... SO EXCITING!!! hahaha... gng to church on christmas day to have lunch... den hopefully can go shopping. Dear God, pls dun let it rain. pls let there be sunshine. thank you so much. :)

Yup, anyway, let me share with you one of my favourites from Whose line is it anyway.. it is hilarious lar... i'll upload 'lorraine' to u guys soon... :)

Dreams of today... Memories of yesterday...

sometimes i feel that the dreams and visions i have for today and tomorrow will vanish into thin air and become a memory... i dun see effort, i dun see the perseverance, i dun see the commitment that i used to see in... why? i noe this road has not been easy but we worked so hard to achieve where we are today. and u take it for granted. i cannot believe how complacent u have become. i wish us to go further but sometimes,i feel with the current state of attitude, we are moving towards a dead end... i'll wash my hands of everything...

please remember one thing, there can't be results without conscious effort... if u think that by sitting there, do nothing, everything will remain the same. so be it. but i tell u, ur skills and whatever u have learnt, ur creativity will deterioriate at this rate.

It indeed saddens me but life still goes on. I'll just move on without u. when u are ready n think u want to continue, then u talk to me. if not, pls think thru...

bake-king day!!

tee-hee.. was supposed to go for choir today, but could not make it coz i kind of lost my voice.... it is pretty hoarse... oh well, but i spent time with daddy today in the kitchen, man we cooked up a storm.. there was cheesecake, fruit cake, and cream puffs... hee... quite a fun time, after that we kind of jammed with zk n chris... was interesting though, but i lack my wonderful bro.. gosh, i miss him so much. hee... yup yup...

i kind of miss playing in GCM aka tabernacle of David... with barney, jonathan, and the 3 of us just creating music, trial and error everywhere. hahaha. quite fun ar those days... gosh, i miss all of them... *sigh* time and life goes on... u have better things in store for me. right daddy God?

Christmas is round the corner... with lots of party to attend... heh. have one tmr, have one this sun, so exciting... den the next whole week.. is PARTY TIME!!! but.. i'm a bit lazy to go... if those of u whose party i'm supposed to attend, are reading this, rest assured, u'll see me there but just lazy lar...

Thursday...

ok... today is a thursday.. a fun one in fact.. had a fun time polishing my nails... it is ultra shiny n smooth coz i used mummy's nail buffers, conditioners... watever u use to make the nails beautiful after that i appiled the varnish... ultra shiny lar. so beautiful. was staring at my nails at orchard the entire time.... hah hah...

yeah was at orchard watching eragon at lido... it is actually a very nice show about dragons, dragon riders, magic... u noe the fairytale kind of stuff. and the dragon is so cute when it was young but yet loveable when it is older... but somehow, i get the feeling that it is almost similar to the lord of the rings... yeap... after that, went to coos for some mic course.. interesting info which serves as a reminder and a refresher course... oh well, thank God for the talents that he has placed in the church. just ensure that one does not become complacent after serving God for too long. must always check the heart...

have been feeling down the past few days. but owells, i always have my parents with me and dot, angel and ern who always stand by and correct me... hehe.. u noe sometimes, though i noe that God loves me so... but yet i always have this lonely feeling sometimes, that he is not there... he is so far away from me but yet i noe he is just a phone call away... i dunno how to explain to u these feelings... it is tough for me to describe... have been having sleepless nites for the past few days. must be coz i dun have enuff work to do. so i am running on unused energy... it is like wake up, i have stored energy and when i dun use up the entire tank of energy, i can't sleep at nite. yupz.

another thing... i can't feel the christmas spirit anymore... when i was young, i love christmas.. one can feel the mood n spirit of christmas. but rite now, it is so comercialized.. it sucks... where is the spirit? and christmas is just 2 weeks away... haiz... maybe it is just me... can someone tell me pls? if it is not just me, God can pls grant me this request, pls instill the spirit of christmas again once more :)... i need it.... heez...

shoppaholic...

went shopping with mummy yest... went to chill out at raffles city, marina square coz mummy wanted to see the cute purple balls hanging from the ceiling and suntec city... yeah invited belinda along... we had a fun time yest and mummy n i went to view swimsuits.. i tell u, i have never in my life fell in love with swimsuits until now... gosh, i saw a pretty lime green with brown patternspaghetti strap shirt swimwear with straps which can turn it into a cross-back or a halter.. pretty cool and the bottom would be shorts... yeah man, i love the shop seafolly... if u peeps are interested, u can go to their website... www.seafolly.com amazing swimwear for girls exclusively... unfortunately, i did not get it coz there isn't my size.. have to wait for 2 more weeks for new arrivals. so must see the latest design.. heh heh...

oh yeah, i have always wondered why do most secondary school kids want to dress up as if they are in their 20s? gosh, honestly, in my opinion, they look horrendous... they think they're cool but they are far from it.... look ur age pls... it is so sala, u look at the face, u go wow, this girl is young, and u look at the dressing n u go: man she looks old... *gross*... ok anyway, new age mentality is not fathomable... hah hah...

had a nice day spending time with mummy n preparing the party stuff on sat... den chilled to some lounge n jazz music on daddy's new hi-fi system... was solid man i tell u... heh enjoyed it thoroughly... mum n dad, if u are reading this, i wana tell u tat i love u to bits... u're the best. thank you for giving such a wonderful life n home.... God loves u n i do too... :)

oh Lorraine!!!

hahaha... man, spent my entire day jammin with zg n zk yesterday and this morning watching lorraine... something which i heard shan yu and zk tell me. so decided to go see what is so nice about lorraine... she is this woman who does idiotic stuff ahahaha. can be quite irritating lar... yups... yupz. share with you some pictures of fun times we had during the camp... Thanks Kenny!!! i copped the pics from ur bloggie. heh heh...

Joline and I

Zhong kai's happy face... i think he is being delilah in the game
Zhong Guo's shorts sama sama with Kenny.... yikes

Justin n i slacking on comfy round cushions... we wanted to take it home. rite juz?
enjoying a slice of pizza with myself, aurylia, oli n pastor jenn :)
trying to take the round cushion away from justin...

n wat is marcus aka 'chillex' boy gleeing about?
awww... one big happy family serving God in music :)

'cHiLL-LeX' ...

ok peeps, in case if you are wondering where i have been for the past 3 days, i was in a music advance camp organized by my church... it is pretty cool... at least for me, having just joined the music min, i felt that thru this, i was able to relate to more people but i guess it does not stop here, this is just an ice-breaker for me.
I had fun man in camp. honestly, i was home-sick on the first day. weird ok, i never felt home sick before... owells, learnt a lot of new words from Marcus: chill- lex, n his hokkien, english n chinese version: wa jia Myojo er yi... Translation: i eat myojo only... den josh had this really cool matchstick trick that everyone was figuring out... hahha... yeah rite now, am feeling tired coz we slept realli early in camp like 2am? yea pretty early...

we had worship sessions too apart from laughters... it is realli cool.. I guess these sessions serve as a process... I learnt a lot spiritually n it is also like a reminder... ok i shall be gracious and be miss nice to share with you some...

ok basically, being in a worship ministry is happening and cool but that is not the main purpose. wat God wants to see is our heart. it does not matter if we have talent or not but it is the heart that weighs... and being in a ministry, any ministry requires us to be true and open to God as well as ourselves and the ppl around us.. God does not want us to put on a mask when we come to church only to have that mask taken off from mons- fri... God loves the person behind the mask not the one with the mask. He loves us for who we are. It is ok if you think that u are not that great n not worthy coz u have a lot of problems or issues... Hey, it is fine, no one is perfect. If you have a prob, God is there for u to help u n comfort you... he does not condemn, he wants to help u, to be ur fren, to be there for u when u need help... If u are reading this, n u are in need of help, why not give it a try to ask God for help? He will respond coz he loves u. :)

narcissist

been enjoying myself during hols. it is definitely a much deserved break from all the essays that i have been doing. heh heh... been going out with fren, spending time with loved ones, taking a lot of pictures of myself... haha... let me show u some...

yup tat's all the pictures i have taken so far.. haha... oh ya, and i can't believe that the GST is going to be 7% soon. man tat's fast.... a few more mnths and i am going to pay more than usual... gosh. pathetic. oh well, God can i have more money please? hee.... love you all... :) *hugs and kisses*

puff puff puff

guess wat have i been doing for the past few days? haha yup busy baking cream puffs and taking pictures of myself. yeah, call me a narcissist. haha. ok so here comes the pics of my daddy's cream puffs. it is pretty. i couldn't bear to eat them. haiz...


those are daddy's yummy cream puffs.. hee freshly baked from the oven... yum. Aren't the shapes pretty... heh heh...

bewildered...

*gosh* 1 week has passed so quickly. have been busy practicing for competition... it is fun. this is wat i call life... haha anyway, it is fun yet stressful yet enjoyable... haha.. i am a little sad coz i can't start daddy's cake shop online coz i heard that i need to obtain a license and i have absolutely no clue as to go about applying for one. *sigh*.. i need help man... if you guys noe how to obtain the license, please feel free to call me and guide me ok. it's pretty important to me. thank you so muchie...
oh yea, tmr daddy's going to bake cream puffs with chocolate custard and mango custard. yum yum... yay n i am gng to help do the shell of the puffs... it's gonna be pretty...

just came back from church, had a wonderful day... oh, i was reading this book that dear ruth lent me. it is gems.. if i am not wrong... if i can remember correctly, i was awoken by this sentence," nowadays people take God for granted"... if you think about it, it is rather true... and it also challenges the way we view worship. Worship is nothing without the Holy Spirit... it would be just a performance, an empty vessel. Worship is an act of humility, to stand in awe of our God, to be grateful for his dying on the cross, for saving us from death... and so, because of this few statements that hit me, i reflected upon it and today, it is like a total different meaning when i went for service... Sometimes, due to our busy stuff everyday and a peaceful life here, it is indeed a blessing but it is also easy to forget God. but i thank God for ruth nonetheless, for letting me read that precious book that made me remember why God created me. that is to worship him and enjoy his goodness. :) yup...
i guess i will end here for now. gng to plan some party thingee for christmas... haha... love you all.... and may God bless you richly. *muackz*

LoOk HeRe!!!

yay... gosh i enjoyed may's wedding on sat. it was realli nice. haha. *sigh* heh heh... oh anyway, just to update all of you... i'm gng to start a little foodie stall online.. yup so check my blog for more updates ok? all the yummylicious food that my daddy is going to bake. There'll be cream puffs, cheesecakes in chocolate, mango, strawberry n coffee flavours... pics will be up soon tho. the name of the 'cafe' will be up soon. will keep you guys posted... :) hope you guys will like the pastries.

hooray!!! it's a happy holiday

yay!!! the last of my psycho essay is over. YAY!!! FREEDOM!!!! hahaa. but it comes with a price. i ain't feeling well. sob sob. oh well, this 1 n a half mnths is a long deserved break for me. i worked very hard for the past 3 months ok... anyway, brought mrs. gnojeck out yesterday with dot dot. it was super fun lar... hahaha. had a lot of things to see. oh well, i guess singapore is an asian america.. coz, everything that mrs gnojeck sees, is more or less the same as back in her country.. hahaha.... which means we are boring... got any new things anot ar... haiz... haha anyway, will be busy practicing the next few weeks.. so ya.. dun disturb.. muahahaha jk jk.. i am super happy lar... hahaha

His PreSeNcE!!!

totally enjoyed my time in church today.. yeah. today i felt that the spirit was different. somehow, God was dwelling in the midst of us doing his work in each and every one of us. To love us and let us be loved... May God continue to work in the two bands everyday. :)
rite... one last psycho paper, and i'm off to nafa for good. muahahaha sounds as if i am going to teach at nafa. but nah, going to join uncle zecky in his choir... so cool lar. man i miss those days at nafa, that was the life... the high-life... creating music is the highest form of life anyone can attain man... haha. i mean not forgetting God who is first in everything but i thank God for music, can u imagine ur life without music. it is like not being able to breathe in any air. gosh.. music is wonderful but of course it is powerful too. so be careful wat u use ur music for :)
yay... i have a happy feeling about this week coz it is making-music week. preparing for competition for da-ge aka desmond, and recently ruth too :) hee. man back to the old days. wat a nostalgic feeling. and with dot dot too... man i think nafa is gng to be noisy for the next 1 mnth or so. u can see dot dot n i playing catching, crashing courses, laughing very loudly, doing dumb stuff....
oh yeah, currently it is sun morn... i am feeling excited coz this will be my first time playing in coos worship. yeah!!! God, await my worship to you with the band at 5pm!!! LOVE YOU JESUS!!! U ROCK!!!

tat's weird!!

ok, i posted my testimonies of how God has done for me the last time. But for some strange reason, it has deleted by itself. anyway, i am gng to write it again. I want to share with you how God has literally saved my life.

I want to thank God for preserving my life to where i am today. u see, i was born with a hole in the heart and doctors predicted that i had only 3 weeks to live. Thanks to my mum's steadfastness, she kept on praying and miraculously, the hole closed by itself. This miracle was not only to testify that God is real but it was also the start to my father's salvation.

The second time that God saved me was when i had to go for 2.4km run during PE lessons. i came to this junction that we had to cross. I guarantee u i looked left to right then right to left to make sure that there was no cars ok. but suddenly, a white merz came out of nowhere in my direction. I was stunned and i could not move an inch. The car came closer until it was a few inches away from me and all of a sudden i felt this strong but gentle force that pushed me backwards onto the gravel road. Initially, i thought that it was one of my frens who pulled me back. but when i looked around, there was no one on the road with me. I knew then that it was God who saved me. I was not hurt or anything. No bruises or whatsoever. Perfectly fine!! :)

Through these two testimonies, i know that God is real and is always on the look out for us, protecting us. Some of you may think that it is sheer luck. but up till today, luck has not done anything for me but my God has. I hope that you will be encouraged by these testimonies. May God richly bless u :)

Teachers as role models??!!??! i dun think so

ok, many of u may noe that teachers are indeed role models and not all teachers are mean. but i tell you, i am so mad with this teacher of mine. oh btw, i cleared her class today as we took her english test. i can't believe it ok, for english, i did a question wrongly. and so i asked my teacher how? she said," fail lor".. URPS LAR!!! be more encouraging and comforting as a teacher can? oh and she is ultra ultra ultra super duper rude... last week, we made quite a bit of noise as she ate into our other class's time. she got super worked up that she turned around and said," do me favour, zip your mouth!!!".... ?!?!?!?!?!?! like so ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? man if that is how a phd holder in english is going to behave and react to cute loveable students like us, it has definitely set an ugly image about english... gross...
Get this straight, a phd does not mean anything.. it is just a cert... to help u get a job, but it ain't gonna sustain u a job if u lack creativity and manners... if u tink phd means the world, yeah it does, it means Permanant Head Damage... and one will think it is the world coz of pride... so must be careful ya ppl when u get ur upper degrees and doctorates and stuff. back to reality...
*sigh* my english, Dear God pls work a miracle and help me pass this subject. I do not want to retake this english module again. it is torturous... i rather play music with english than to write letters with english.
Happy thoughts now: rite, i am going to join in all or rather most activities held by NAFA like CHOIR!!!!! GAMELAN!!!!! uahahahahahah... yea yea yea... miss the life there man. it is like the bomb. so glad nie is OVER!!! OVER!!! HURRAY!!!! one last psychology essay to go and wala. kabaam... ovua... ciao... tata.... and hello... bonjour... sawadicrap... holidays and NAFA... THANK YOU JESUS!!! *MUACKS MUACKS* tat you help the time in nie to pass by so quickly. Continue to do so pls if there is an overload of assignments and help us get to happy thoughts and activities faster. :) LOVE YA JESUS!!!

Bathroom singer??

i used to wonder why are there so many people who love to sing in the bathroom. Well, i found that out myself. u see, the way the bathroom is structured actually gives one a room filled with cool acoustic settings. there are lots of uneven walls, coz u got bottles everywhere so the sound is really nice u noe. the acoustics are power-packed.

i was super hyper after jamming with zg,which was like after 11pm, that i started singing "To You, we lift up our hands..." and i was pretty hooked to singing in the bathroom coz the reverb was like so nice. i can't stop singing. Well, though i noe that i didn't go out of tune, one uncle went," oei oei oei, u noe what time already anot, still sing". i was like oops.. haha yikes. i think it is super fun lar... hahaha. I had my revenge on that uncle the next day. we jammed like mad haahaa. so poor uncle.

ok. been busy pretty lately, caught with lots of projects... haha. have tons of work assignments to fulfill. like what is new rite.. haha yup. so just hanging in there, counting on God to provide me with all the strength i need to sustain and still counting Him.... Go Daddy Go!!! GO !!!! GO!!!

ok... back to projsss now.....

I'm back...

i am so so sorrie tat i didn't update my blog. kind of lazy yet busy.. sometimes, i wish there is an auto thingee where u can just think in ur mind what u want to say and den it will automatically upload itself into the com. ok anyway, a little update. NIE does not seem that bad anymore now that i have finished 3 modules.. cool... yup, I thank daddy God for allowing me, my two bros to serve in Coos band with our talents. heez, what a joy. With mixed feelings, i have to resign to the fact that my bro n i are serving in 2 different bands. Not that it is bad or anything, but we are so used to playing with each other that sometimes, we need not say a word n we noe where we are heading just by the music and flow. *sigh*. Oh well, it's good to have exposure and to be able to work with others tho. New stream of ideas heh heh...

Anyway, i just came back from jamming with Tehillah, *gosh i hope i spelt it correctly*, yup. not too bad, my first time jamming with them so just go with the flow man.. hahaha. looking forward to the next jamming. Basically, i think they are a bunch of easy going people.. haha.. but in that small room, n sitting next to the drummer, gosh it is like sitting next to zg man. ultra loud. hahaha. next time i must rem to bring ear plugs. kekeke

Dear God, what do u think will happen in the next few years or in lightyears to come? i was thinking, do u think that there will be a need for musicians now that technology is moving and improving so fast? i mean, like i can stack 3 or 4 keyboards and have a control knob or effects box for myself or maybe there won't even be a need for me to play.. just asking i noe my imagination abit wild, but nvm.

YAY~!!!! sch's hols are coming soon. yes yes yes!!! i miss my nafa carefree days man. no matter how ar, i tell u, nafa days are the ultimate bomb. NIE can't beat it. HEAR THAT NIE!!! NAFA REIGNS SUPREME!!!! ok lar. nie is fun in its own way when there is no major essayssssssss to do. *note the many sssss behind the essay*

ok lar, got to do project now. tata.

Trust..

gosh... i am missing europe right now.. the cool weather, the carefree attitude. haha. i was quite pleased knowing and being reminded that my life is in God's hands no matter what happens. Yeah even though, life seems tough but u never know, it may be a blessing in disguise, God could have had something to teach us through that tough journey. Well, for me, i would say. these tough times, would be the workload in nie... yeah, though i noe i have been complaining alot lately, but looking back, i learn to lean on God for support and wisdom to guide me through my essays.
Honestly, i can say with confidence that God has been good to me. Evidence: ok i am the kind of person who tries to get as much work done as possible so that i can relax and spend time with family and friends. I dun care how stressed i am or how it has an effect on me. all i want, is to be done and rid of it.
However, God has taken care of me in such a way that if i have an essay to hand in, say upcoming tues, i am able to complete my essay within 2 days but, if i were to do the other modules, I will not be able to concentrate. i will start to day-dream and God will send tons of ppl in my path to distract me, allowing me to rest before starting on the next essay.
As i look back, God has been gracious to me, teaching me to be still in His presence, to find comfort in him. Through this, i learnt once again to commit and surrender everything that i have n am unto Him again.
so once again, i give all glory to God 4eva
YEAH!!!

comical dad

yay.. Thank God daddy's operation was a success. haha. thank you for all the brothers and sisters that have prayed for my daddy. I appreciate it lots. thank you so much...

daddy has 3 weeks mc, and he is getting stronger and lamer everyday. haha. he is very comical as he will crack a joke, make everybody laugh, and then he will say" dun laugh my stomach very pain"... coz he can't laugh as his stitches are around his tummy area. hahaha. mummy is so hardworking too. seldom u see her cook twice for a meal. bcoz of daddy, she does so. so sweet hor. and the food tastes nicer for daddy too despite having no salt in it. hee.

now having hols, but tons of essay to finish. so yup, trying to finish up as much as possible. then can go shopping. hahaha.. tata

MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

i am very happy today. u noe why? because i am so blessed to have been born into such a wonderful family with amazing parents, great bros and beautiful friends. i had a nice surprise today. a bouquet of flowers was sent to my hse. it was so beautiful. i love it man... heez, oh ya, then we had an early birthday dinner with some of them at vilage at heerens. den shannon who is 4eva on his way came late with yifang n leo.. hahaha. but it was extremely memorable.

To me, though this is the first simplest birthday that i ever had compared to the lavish and fun ones at nafa, ironically it was quite enjoyable. even the nafa arts ppl like carol and xingyu gave me bdae presents. that was one pleasant surprise. i appreciated it. realli. thank u babes.. :)

today i was just thinking does pretty gals/handsome guys mean they have pretty hearts? u noe ,today in the bus, i saw this guy with his gf, den when we were at the interchange, he just stood up walked to the front and alighted leaving his gf looking so stoned. i mean, aren't guys supposed to protect their gfs. hmmm, i have no idea. guys nowadays are weird creatures.

i used to wonder how come all the pretty gals are attached but the normal ones are left behind... i came to a conclusion that not all pretty gals are nice. only some but those relationships may or may not be a lasting one. however, those gals who are average looking, they have a very nice character and a good heart. but it takes time for ppl to noe them. i think that shld be the way. do u agree?
hee. today at 12am, which marks 23rd sept will be the first day that i will be starting life at twenteen yrs old... cool huh... heh heh.

jigsaw puzzle.....

Gif me oil in my lamp, keep me burning burning burning. Give me oil in my lamp i pray
Gif me oil in my lamp, keep me burning burning burning. Keep me burning till the end of day.
wat a nice song in times like these... it applies both to my relationship with God and me being in the physical realm. sometimes, i wonder what is life... what are friendships about? is it that valuable? wat makes it valuable... sometimes, i feel tat i am like a spare tyre... oh well, i guess tat's life. someone has to be made used of at some point of time. someone who is easily forgotten....
Anyway, today it was kind of angel n sebas to give me a lift to jp interchange even though it was not realli convenient for him. He could have easily said no coz it wasn't on the way. *touched* thank u guys... i appreciate it.
had some time alone today, to spend time with myself n God, to think things thru... to relax away from everybody.

haiz... reminiscence

this morning, boy was i glad that i handed in classroom management essay and YES!! it is indeed the last lesson alread.. woohoo!! haha. anyway, when i was walking to my classroom, i heard small daniel prac the clarinet, man, i tot it was nafa for a split second but realized in an instant that i am in an Institute of Essays. so boring. who likes to write wat 20 essays?!?!? no joke ok..
today went to find my cousin who is working at ntu. she just started work there, she made me walk all the way to canteen B and i had to ask 2 ppl to get there. *sheesh* why can't she just ask ppl to help her get to nie. *sigh* must be the age gap. must be daring ma. haha. was looking forward to coming home to my family. it is like, i'm totally lethargic outside, but home is like a recharger for my body which is like a battery to continue for the next day's essays assignment. totally *boring* as angel's latest word.. uber boring. haha... btw, today leo came to nie, to find some books but i think he so blur. haha we couldn't find each other and i was quite worried as i left my belongings in the room. was pretty afraid that my stuff would go missing when i get back.... haha. those are my precious stuff. farni how, life seems to revolve around technology. one feels so handicapped without them. can u imagine a day without a hp... hmm...
haha.. i love my bros more n more everyday. esp zg... haha sorri zk, can't help it. who call u always bully me.. muahahahah. no lar, jk. ok... back to essays. i have more interesting news but i have to confirm it first before i can let u guys noe. tata

beefed up?

did i fail to mention that i love my parents very much, followed by my bros and then frens.. heez. i think all of these are the best things in my life next to God. anyway, thank you guys for keeping my family in prayer. thank you. i truly appreciate it.
Anyway, today mummy cooked mee tah bak n daddy cooked for my beef coz he said i must eat more meat. why? coz i got low blood pressure.. so daddy cook for zhong guo n i. heez. so nice of my daddy. i love him so so so so much. *muacks to daddy* Mummy i love u too. haaah.
thank God, i managed to finish up classroom management essay. u noe, sometimes nie is so deafening. not in noise but in silence. it is a deafening silence in nie. it is so musicless. i miss the out-of-tune tuning notes of instruments, screams, loud laughter. noise seems to be music at nafa where creativity flows freely. in nie it is so constipated. it just dries up all creative juices thanks to essays. oh well. so boring...
to my buddies: gangly, wobbly, squiggly, shu shu, van. may God bless u guys in every aspect in your life: studies, emotions, relationships and mentally. may He continue to give u strength and wisdom and may his angels guard over u. We'll pull through :) Love u guys

Dinosaur age...

oh boy, it has been a long time since i blogged. haha. kind of miss it. just finished one the management essays.. just needs a little touch-up. anyway, i hope i did it correctly and Bopry would like it. heez.
Anyway, I would like to apologize to all my darling frenz whom i have lashed out at unintentionally... esp angel n dot.. heez... sumtimes, i guess my tone isn't very nice and all. but i dun realli realize it. for ppl out there. i dread ppl disturbing me halfway when i am reading a book, thinking about work or doing work. other than that, disturb me all u want. if u do, u will get a lashing from me which is unintentional at times. haha.. *oops* must control. heez. yup sorrie... love u guys and thanks for telling me :)
One hectic week but hey, SEPT is here. heh heh. oh man, i have a love-hate relationship with this month- september. zk, if u are reading tis, dun even say a word. i noe what u are thinking and wat u are gng to say. shhh... i dun wish to read or hear it. let me live in self-denial thank u.
ok.. now, i am gng to do project work with gangly. that poor girl, i hope n pray she gets well soon. love u gangly *muackz* tat includes wobbly, squiggly and me flabbly (new name given by dot dot) no choice ar... hahaha

Good morning Jesus

Good morning Daddy God...
i noe it is early in the morning and shld be in bed now but I can't slp... too many things running through my mind. things i have done, things i have said, things that i intend to do and am doing. Am i doing the right things? Wat I did, is it right? I dunno. only u noe the ans... I made many promises to u... some i kept, some i did not. Sometimes, i do not have the boldness to stand up for what is right, but i always end up giving in until it becomes too big a prob... but I thank you for giving me the strength this very morning to stand up for what is right, to acknowledge what i did was wrong and to correct it.
Lord, I pray that u will continue to strengthen me and to give me the strength, not to dwell on the past but to learn and never commit the same mistakes again. Relationships and friendships are all in your hands... Look forward to a better relationship I will... to draw near in your dwelling place if u will accept me back again... to be safe in your arms away from danger... to soar on eagle's wings with you... for u to love me again... Dear Lord, ur love and ur acceptance is what i long for... i pray for those brothers and sisters that i have stumbled in the process. may u build them up spiritually again and send a revival among us. May our love for u be renewed again and to restore us to our first love which is u. Father, i pray for those who are sick, may u heal them and restore good health to them. By faith, they are healed and active again. May u richly bless each n everyone who reads this, that they may find their strength and comfort in you too :) For when we are weak, you are strong. When we are poor, u are rich.
Thank you Jesus..
Amen.

JaMmInG....

yest was the first sunday that i did not go church at all. haha why? because i attended the youth service on a sat. so basically my sun is free. haha. this morning, went out zhong guo n zhong kai aka mr. 22 hahaha. (can't help it lar bro. haaha) to jam with tim at orchard... it was quite fun to jam together in a studio. it was quite an experience for me... i have never been into a jamming studio. so yup, it was an experience.
Went jalan jalan at orchard area since we were already there with mummy n daddy n my two wonderful bros.. haiz i love God n my family so much...
wanted to do essay. apparently, we went out with a bunch of wacky ppl until 10 plus. so hahaha. my sunday was burnt as usual but i had fun which is rare nowadays.
TIme: 12:10am
Wanna thank God for guiding me thru the first paragraph of my essay. If not for him, I would be stoning at my laptop turning into the 'rock' mode. (the highest level of stoning)... was super happy and am still happy. THANK YOU JESUS...
Just a little smth abt me for some of u who think you noe me very well... my silence is and should not be taken as a weakness. If i say no in your face firmly, take it n leave me alone... if i give u an inch, dun u dare take a yard...

ps. thank you bros for taking care of me n distracting me away from my work. without u guys, i prob go mad and not have so much fun.. heez. esp zk. u wait ar... haha
Take care ppl...

precious gem..

when i was young, i used to play pirates finding a treasure chest with my playmates... it was fun. anyway, it is seldom that i am aware of a gem. anyway, today i just did. i was doing my QT this morning, and the bible verse was phil 4: 13
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

haha. yup, that was pretty much of a comfort after gng thru 4 weeks of torture in nie. with all that essays, project work, individual assignment and rushing of classes. haha. so to me, that is pretty much a gem as it helps me look on the positive side knowing that my God is for me and He will always be there for me guiding me in each and every step that i take.
TOnight i have cell group. woohoo!!! looking forward to it. i have 4 more weeks at the adult cell group and will be moving on to the youth one. gng to miss all the aunties, uncles, ah pek, hahah no lar... they are a very fun and lame bunch of ppl despite their age. see maturity doesn't come with age at all.

anyway, mummy just kicked me out of the kitchen as i helped her destroy her meatballs. as usual i am doing smth stupid. hahaha. can't help it lar, must take a break ma after doing and thinking how to phrase essays, choose the right word. no wonder the saying: teachers are the first to go mad... does that apply to student teachers too? hmmm...

i better get back to my mundane pastime now: ESSAYS!!!!! :'( haiz.. i miss nafa as usual. the fun, the laughters, the tears of joy, the groans of hungry stomachs, benny's and desmond's constant complains of "dun tu tu tu", yifang's diva attitude, ryan's corny jokes, daniel's loud voice, sebas's funny sounds in the throat that drives yifang mad... and of coz, Dr. Goh's loud character which makes us burst out in laughing fits.

oh well, REUNION DINNER NEXT SAT OR SUN.... I MUST MEET UP WITH U GUYS!!! I MISS ALL OF U LIKE CRAZY!!!! *MUACKS HUGS AND MORE KISSES*

singers??? or croakers??

haha. can u believe it? spore idol actually is into the second season. honestly, i prefer season 1 with olinda and jessea... anyway, spore has talents but they are just not gng to participate in spore idol. y? coz, they never survive thru the end. it is always the ones who can't sing, but look good. oh well, who cares...

haha. had a boring day at sch, went to sch just for talk about band and gesl *yawnz*

oh well, nth much to write today. gng to do my essays n sleep..

wat a day!!!

oh boy.. i may sound cheery, but actually i am very tired. not to mention hungry. Oh well, all i can say is that God is good all the time and all the time He is good. Heez. Sometimes, we take matters into our hands huh, but i guess it is time to actually let go and let God handle it.

haha. I thank God for frens like Dot, angel and the gangly thing... haha... Hui en lar.. haha, man i love calling her the gangly thing. she looks so cute. haha... for being there for me when i am a worrywart and when i am not. I am so thankful that project works are done, but presentation is up next. Which is worse, the process of the project or the presentation. hmmm... depends lar huh... the ppl makes all the diff. haha.

i feel that my world is moving too fast. God can u slow it down please? or am i just rushing myself too much. hee.. Anyway, my church is having an event on sat, dinner provided.. anyone wants to go, please call my hp directly. yup yup if not leave a tag... yup yup free dinner lei... then just come my church watch drama, and other fun stuff......

ok.. i am gng to continue my work now :)

Home sweet Home...

~haha~ today was my last day at the church i am serving. I am officially going back to Church of Our Saviour. yup, went for marcus's bdae party yest. had a fun time, knew the NUS cell peeps. haha... i think i am ging to have a fun time serving God back in my home church under a nice n funky youth pastor. hahaha. i'll miss the other people for sure but life goes on. hahaha.
We learn new things everyday. yup.. haha...

I am trusting God to take care of my family n i in every aspect there is. It is so easy to be complacent but i guess that is where self-check every end of the day helps. haha. Honestly, without God, i am nothing. and there would be nothing in this world. No nice nice things that we have, everything that we have, belongs to God. yup, all this i guess is on loan. but when i go heaven, i have everything to myself and other brothers and sisters :)

Compared to the persecution that God suffered and compared to my constant complaints about workloads is so vast a diff. i guess i have to let go of my past life in nafa, and move on with the new nie life. if not, i will never be able to motivate myself. hahaha. still, i thank God for guiding me through 3 weeks of studying at nie.

I miss the company at nafa... hahaha

Cheers!!!

Hunkadola.....

yay.. my essays are done, projects are almost done.. hurray... but on the other side of the coin, there are more. *sigh*. happy for no reason. haha anyway, i think i am slowly settling in to nie. but i still miss nafa. yest, dot, van, angel n i relived our nafa days. We sat by the staircase near the canteen n started singing. boy, it brought many stares and smiles by other student-teachers. oh well, who cares, as long as we are enjoying ourselves, who is to say what we can or cannot do.

went for campus crusade yest, was quite fun n i was glad that i went. learnt a new song, with a nice tune n now i can't rem how to sing it. hahaha. met a lot of other new frens n lots of eyecandy.. heh heh. yup

I can't decide whether to eat western food or chinese food for lunch... hahha. nvm.. already, mummy said she cook macaroni for me. haha i'm so glad that i have a mummy who loves me so muchie. hahaha

oki. gtg finish up some proj work, if not darling angel will just smack me when she sees me.. aahahaha. jk jk

love,
Nat

drowning in a pool....

ever gone swimming? do u noe how to swim? *blup blup blup* even the best of swimmers drown sometimes.... haha, but hang on... there's hope - the float. haiz..
i am like relating to this coz i am drowning in a pool of work where the word 'sleep' is no longer in my dictionary. that word has becum obselete. the next 'in' word is nap. u noe power naps. hahha. oh well, lots of essays, projects the usual stuff.

i was quite glad that angel n i have gone closer and our friendship has improved. that's a nice start and i hope it will continue to improve. yup. btw, i think i am in love. yup, with dvorak. woohoo... power!!!!!!!

Dear God, i thank u for guiding me thru half a week, i pray u continue to guide me thru the other half. if not, i will go crazy. thank u for the people that u have put in my life and continue to send more ppl to entertain me and for me to share happiness with :) But first, u must give me happiness and help me grow stronger in u.
Thank you Jesus...

yoz nie buddies, jia you jia you. we will get out of here alive and sane.

tata rain n hello SunShine!!!

haha. oh happy day!!!... yay, my work is almost done, n my grp mates are gng to kill me coz i have not done any work for proj... gone.. haha, nvm. anyway, was happy to be in church.
zg n i bullied zk as usual only becoz he started first. yup...
oh boy, i feel that this week is gng to be one fiesty week for some of my frens, with tempers flying everywhere, where's the ice bucket when u need one?
Thank you God for guiding me thru this stressful week here, but i noe and thank u for getting me thru another week. haha... learnt a new song, enjoyed it and am processing it... tata

splitting headache....

haiz, what is wrong with me? i can never figure that out. i have done my essay and shld be proud of it right? but the more i look at it, i feel that it isn't good enuff to be handed in. *shoots*... perfectionism sucks.
anyway, today i woke up and had a splitting headache. not a very ideal way to start a day. I went to slp last nite and my super imaginative and independent mind refuses to rest and starts forming sentences in my head for my essay.
Dear God, can u send someone into my life to help me do my essays pls? it is nuts.... the essays are a little redundant, like i said, we sporeans are always learning some redundant stuff.
it is farni u noe, that in nie, ppl dun do what they preach. they educate us in nie to teach creatively, but can u believe it, our lessons are far from what they tell us to do. it is like 'duh' u want us to teach creatively then there must be a role model for us to take reference from rite? so many loopholes for me to pick. i shall not be so fault-finding, if not i will just go mad naming all the faults i see. Close two eyes and eat ice-cream is the best.
oh well, what can i say? i obviouslyhave not grown up yet, still holding on to dear memories in nafa. but trying to let go which is a level of difficulty for me. nie seems fun when i was in nafa, but when i am already at nie, it is an entirely different thing. nvm, i shall have a positively outlook and God will guide me thru.
gng to slp now...

A big thank you to all my darlings...

oh i kind of forgot...
do u all like my new blogskin? ok. this one also must give credit. i am not that smart when it comes to these kind of stuff. i am the sua ku. professional ppl like dot n angel are the ultimate man. hahaha
ok. special thanks to dot for giving me the websites to places like blogskin n cbox.
Ultra special thanks to angel for helping me do up my blog. she did the skin n attached a tagboard for me. hahaha. hooray. hahaha. i have a complete blog. haha.

THANK U DARLINGS!!!! I LOVE U BOTH N ALL.. NOT FORGETTING 'GANG'.

fajar day..

kind of happy that today i need not go sch. i spent the entire day thinking of how to do my essay. Kind of got things done halfway... then i went to meet jonathan, joseph, cheryl and 4 other fajar teachers, dun noe their names... quite fun to see them. it makes me feel as if i am on school experience again. haiz.
If u ask me, i dun mind going back to fajar to teach music. kind of miss there. but yet i want to return to my alma mater to teach music there. i miss my sec sch tho. the environment is also not too bad. well, i guess God knows where to put me best. I trust Him. haha
Just had cell group, it went great... loved it though but yet now a little disappointed. Do u sometimes ever wonder what life is? whether are u caught up in one big rat race? whether it will come to naught?
oh yeah, daddy baked cheesecake again. woohoo!! man, one thing great abt nie is that it is one big humongous gym on its own. i get to exercise and maintain my weight. hahha but daddy's cooking is just simply irrisistable. Mummy, if u are reading this, dun be sad ok? i love ur cooking too. looking forward to it everyday. ahha but it is just tat daddy seldom cook savoury food that i often u noe. so it is like a present hahahaha. ok la ok la.. must give credit to my parents... they cook so much nice food that it is difficult for me to stay slim. *sigh* good or bad.... sumtimes i think it is a little both.. haha
ok. i am going to indulge myself in of life's most boring pastime: writing essays.

tata n take care
God bless :)

i am here on a tour

today i heard a sermon by pastor mark from New Creation. He said that we are here on a tour and that one day we will have to go home which is heaven. We are here to learn and to have a relationship with God.
I am so thankful for Hui En's fren for helping me out with my essay. I dun feel so stressed.
As i look back on my past, i am so thankful to God for giving me opportunity to study. I thank God for taking care of my family, my family's problems, and in every aspect of our lives. I just want to share with all of u, that if my God can do it for me, He can do it for u too. All we have to do is to ask Him and he will be more than ready to help us and guide us out if we have any problems. Cherish this opportunity that we have and may God bless u :)

God loves u n i love u too :)

schoenberg and games?

haha. today went over to godma's hse, had a fun time there. my godbro jiray, was busy playing maple story as usual. i still dun see any moral value in that game.. oh well, must be a generation gap. he is old n i am young....
Anyway, godma n i ended up playing suduko. u noe the number game. coming from a person who does not like maths, this is a really fun n interesting game. the game goes like this: u have to find out which number goes to which box and u're not allowed to have a repetition of numbers. very fun. i am hooked to it. After a while, i realized that this game has a little connection to Schoenberg and his 12 tone series thingee. the 12 tone row. ahahha.. need to destress after a long and stressful day in nie. i am 24/5 in nie. unlike nafa, 24/7. comparatively, i rather be in nafa than in nie.
I'm sorri ppl but u are gng to hear me rant abt how much i miss nafa.. i feel farni in nie coz it is rather cold and ppl dun talk much. even the 7 of us from nafa, dun realli get to interact with each other as much as we used to in nafa. it is a totally different feeling and i am not used to it.
Life still goes on....

turn left... turn right

i dun noe is it me or wat. i have not been really myself lately. Maybe it is due to the lack of sleep, and change of environment. it is like a monday blues everyday. why? i dunno. I hope i will get over it soon.
Tomorrow i'm going back to nafa, to watch the concert. Was excited but now i am not so sure. maybe i dun have any adrenaline left to feel happy. gosh.

haiz. anyway, i am glad that i am an only child. no one to bother me at all. i am able to rejunevate energy at home, reflect upon the day, and to remind myself to keep calm in sch. as sumtimes i think ppl are no longer what they used to be. but like i said, maybe it is just one of my downy days.

Take care

LiNkInG cItY.....

today is sun, as usual, i am spending my entire time in church. but with an exception of a buffet dinner in the evening, which was fun. When it comes to food, it is definitely fun.
Walking down city link mall, brings back many fond memories of dot, angel n i strolling, crapping, laughing, sharing stories and making our way to esplanade to do some research or just to hang out. tears actually came into my eyes as i reminiscence abt the past, knowing that i may never have another chance to do that since now i spend all my time at nie. It is a different kind of feeling altogether.
I really miss my life at nafa. haiz, but i guess life goes on and i have God to thank for the wonderful memories that he has allowed me to have in this lifetime. Thankful for friends who make my day, like my two wonderful bros, dot, en, angel, shu shu, lynn, benny, yifang, desmond, daniel kiang, yiau, sebas, aaron, leo, ryan and a whole lot more of others. I miss dr. Goh, Dr. Tan, Dr. Kan, Mr. yap and his lame stories, Mr. Manhart, JENNIFER THAM... sob sob. i miss everything.
Back to today's schedule, church was ok. pastor preached on evangelism... and i think pastor was a little weird today. For the past weeks, he has been asking us to control our band volume, but today he kept telling us to play louder which was already loud, so why not i mean. I am not complaining but it is weird lar, one minute u tell us to control volume, the next u tell us to play louder. it is like ???!?!?!?!?@?!?!?@?. Even Confusious would be totally confused.

ok. take care ppl.
Cheers

oh happy day!!!

today was pretty much ok. I was pretty down and out when i woke up this morning. I slept pretty late as i kept tossing n turning. All in my head was education, schools, and social.. how to sleep. haha. I was pretty stressed.

To God n everyone:
I was happy that i decided to go for cell and youth service today despite of my pending projects which are bugging me. I am glad that I committed everything to Him and i trust that God will guide me through each n every aspect of my life.

I learnt smth from Pastor Richard today. He was sharing his life about how stressed he was when he was in Bible College and how he did not know how to do his essays, his research. that kind of spoke to me and how i felt. I felt that God was speaking to me thru that simple message of His. Thank you God for using ur servant to encourage me and to uplift me.

I am looking forward to a wonderful day ahead. I had better turn in or else I'll be a panda which escaped from zoo.

:) Cheers!!!

how ironic...

to all my frens... welcome to my world... haha... i have never understood why u guys enjoy blogging so much, and i think it is dumb, so much so that it got the better of me and decided to try it out. haha. so here i am.

about today: well today is pretty fine i guess, missing memorable times i had, stoning from lesson to lesson, basically to sum it up, I MISS NAFA!!!!!! there, i feel much better. looking forward to NAFA concert on tues.

k, gtg. tata